＊＃！＆＊[轉貼]English Joke

******In a classroom ******
Teacher: Sam, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Sam: No, teacher, it's the same dog!  :em15:

Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair?
Sam: No comb, sir.
Teacher: Use your dad's then.
Sam: No hair, sir.  :em17:

Teacher: What's the chemical formular for water?
Sam: "HIJKLMNO".
Teacher: What?!  :em06:
Sam: Yesterday you said it's H to O!  :em11:

Teacher: Sam, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Sam: I is .....
Teacher: No, Sam, always say "I am ...."
Sam: Alright ... umm ... "I am the 9th letter of the 26alphabets"

Teacher: If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 on the other, what would I have?
Class: Big Hands!!!!!!  :em07:

********In Sam's house
Father: Your teacher says she finds it's impossible to teach you anything!
Sam: That's why I say she's no good!
Father: Sam, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her.
Sam: (to the aunt) Aunt, I'm sorry you're stupid.  :em05:

Sam: Mom, teacher was asking me today if I've any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.
Mom: That's nice of her to take such an interest,dear. So what did she say when you told her
you're the only child, my dear?
Sam: She just said ... 'Thanks goodness!'

Sam: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Dad: I think so, what do you want me to write?
Sam: Your name on my report card.  :em04:

******In a clinic
Doctor: I've "bad news" and "very bad news" for you.
Patient: Well, might be better give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They
said you've 24 hours to live.
Patient: What?! 24 hours! That's terrible! What
could be even worse then? Tell me the very bad news.
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since
yesterday.  :em07:

*******In a pub
Man A: What's the smartest thing a man can say?
Man B: "My wife says ..."  :em01:

Woman A: Why can't a woman find a kind, caring, compassionate man????
Woman B: Because all those men already have boyfriends!
:em02: